A Doctor Writes .........or rather scribbles almost indecipherably .............
Why YES YOU CAn catch :
"Acquired, Idiotic, Dodgy - Dealing Syndrome"
From a CLPGS lecture or almost any contact with a CLPGS member , Symptoms include :
"hair Falling Out so you have a bald patch as large as a saucer "
"buying portables from Richard Taylor which have a tonearm so incorrect that the lid won;t shut"
"Buying a G & T Style no 4 with a Barry Williamson Horn from "the Leading dealer"
"Being a German Collector and Believing the "Leading Dealer" when he tells you that " No, No, No, Nicole NEVER made Gramophones - get your money back from Ian M "
"You start Visiting Gay Clubs with Dommo & George "
"You Work as a Manure salesman until the money from a Government employment creation scheme in Liverpool fails to come through and you lose your house but your Business partners manage to keep theirs "AKA "Bedford Syndrome"
"You Leave your attractive mistress for one who is so rough you need dark Glasses to look at her - she does look good in tight jeans though "
"You're a sensible Person of few words but inexplicably "forget" to pay for all the stuff from a friends collection which remains in your attic, Garage & Shed and then you allow yourself to be recorded saying Slanderous things about a Totally Honest Person !"
"Perusing a copy of the Hillandale News and thinking of any article : "That's Interesting" it WON'T BE
YOU can avoid this terrible disease by NOT :
"Stroking Dulcetto's Bald head for luck
"Buying Crap from the "leading Dealer"
"Buying a Gramophone from a London Street Market "
"Attending CLPGS Lectures of any type - even if they do sound interesting "
""Sharing a Lavatory with ANY CLPGS Member before or after the Tea & Bikkie Break at a CLPGS lecture"
Having a secure connection on your Forum ! (ha Ha)