Tale No 2 "The Wrecked EMG Horn "

A Receptacle for all the amazing and yet true stories of the Pompous Gay Club Visiting, cancer Suffer Killer who founded the "Ring" by Blackmail !

Tale No 2 "The Wrecked EMG Horn "

Postby Gmemg » 23 Jan 2018, 20:45

This is a tale from a well known (If not respected) Gramophone/Radio/Sewing machine "dealer " well known for "making a Living from a Loss" he told me this tale some years ago ! best read in a nasal North London Accent

"one day i was sort of walkin' along the aisle at a large outdoor antiques fair - it was fik fog it was and you could hardly see yer 'and in front of yer face yer couldn't, i sees this EMG 'Orn on the floor in front of a stall - well i sort of tripped over it like ! i arsked the bloke wot he wanted for it and he says :

"Give us £50"

so i did like, and was walkin' along back to my car as i says in the fik fog it was and i 'ears a voice out of the fik fog :

"Reg, O, Reg, Yis Yis Yis "

I finks :

Bleedin' 'Ell Not IM , so i like legged it round a corner like and bugger me i bumps into the bleeder ! "

He says :

"How much is that Reg, Yis Yis, Yis, you know you've got to sell to me I've turned over 5 million pounds in the last 2 weeks and am at the top of the tree, top of th etree Yis Yis Yis ?"

I finks quick like or he's gonna go on and bleedin on for hours like and says "How about £45 ?"

He says : "Yis Yis Yis , I'll take it - i've bought 500 phonographs at the fair today and all the TOP Stuff a top dealer like me buys so i can't fit it into the car so for that price you can drop it at my emporium Yis Yis Yis "

he went off into the fog and funnily enough as i left the fair and i saw 'is car leavin and he had nuffin' in it - Bleedin weird if you ask me

so the next day i went to his trading place and parked down the road he appeared and took the 'orn an paid me so i went back to the car - i should say the trading place had these massive glass doors set in thinck bronze frames - they took two 'ands to shift em and so i sees him go in the horn over 'is shoulder and he shoves the door open goes in 'imself and whad to i sees next ?

only the Bleedin' Door shutting on the LARGE PART OF THE 'ORN Completely Flattening it !

I quickly drove orf before he wanted 'is money back

Ow Gawd i fought to myself !

More tales soon - Particularly ones told to me by Soundgerm !
What others say of me :

Estott : "An Ancient Half - Mad Uncle "

My U - Tube Channel is : http://www.youtube.com/user/EMGColonel

Corruption in the CLPGS :
The Seven Social Sins are:
Wealth without work. Pleasure without conscience. Knowledge without character .Commerce without morality. Science without humanity. Worship without sacrifice. Politics without principle.

Money. Greed. Naivety. Falsehoods. Exploitation. Welcome to the wonderful world of gramophones!

"He has as much comedic talent as the Straight man on a Linguaphone record "
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