Society reports - No 1 West Country

Keeping an Eye on the Gramophone "Ring" Members, , Paedophiles (Keith Harding , Len Watts , Chris Hamilton) , Foot fetishists, Bankrupt EMG Graverobbers, Cancer sufferer Killers & Spivs. Suicide risk, Adulterer, Girl Buggering TMF Admins, Gay Club visitors, Crapophone Makers & Vendors, Multi - Name Ebay Vendors, Bogus Legal Complainants, Roger Thorne Estate Looters, Matrix Number Bores, Convicted Drug Dealers & Cannabis Growers & users of the "Learned Society" AKA "Christopher Proudfoot's Magical gramophone Music Tour &
"Those boring Old Men with their Wind Up machines " AKA in the Gay World "The Wrinkle room"

Society reports - No 1 West Country

Postby Gmemg » 21 May 2018, 06:49

Report from the West Country Branch

In the chair - beardy Toadie who praised the Society Auctions as :

" fairest and most reasonably Comm Auctions in the World" and the Auctioneer as : "The Most expert expert in the World "


in other chairs were , The Dear Chap, Paul Big ears, "Duke" Oaky, the late Philip, Fraudulent Frank , "Suicidal Steve"

The Chair welcomed us to his home and after showing us his extensive collection of 4 machines we got down to business , tea was served with a round of Blind Bikkie tasting which was won with, it has to be said "Hot " Competition from The Dear Chap , by "Duke" Oakie who recognised an oatie & Honey dew Hobnob when he tasted it !

Members then brought out favourite discs and so we played ;

"the Laughing EMG Guru" by Charles Penrose

"I'll get my Coat Song" Sung by Enrico Caruso

"Dem Bones" by the CLPGS Snoring Chorus (Much applause from assembled Members who woke up in time )

Later the Chair adjudged the "Home Crafts" competition, entries included

"An EMG Minor Expert" whitled from banana boxes (disqualified when it turned out to be the one Beardie Toadie found an Tamlywynette's Auction in Waterbridge)

A Working "Victrola Credenza " made by Mr Big ears from his own ear Wax (2nd Prize as the sound proved better than an original)

1st prize - "Stained Glassophone" made by The Dear Chap from Plastic bottles and then coloured in with felt tip pens in an "artistic Manner" with scenes from His Wife's last "all Wimmin Adventure Holiday"

There was applause all round as we were then served tea & bikkes by the Chair's Miserable wife which was then followed by 14hrs of gossip & intense discussion of the minutae of Frank Andrews great works followed by a vote of thanks to The Chair for a great "Society" day
What others say of me :

Estott : "An Ancient Half - Mad Uncle "

My U - Tube Channel is : http://www.youtube.com/user/EMGColonel

Corruption in the CLPGS :
The Seven Social Sins are:
Wealth without work. Pleasure without conscience. Knowledge without character .Commerce without morality. Science without humanity. Worship without sacrifice. Politics without principle.

Money. Greed. Naivety. Falsehoods. Exploitation. Welcome to the wonderful world of gramophones!

"He has as much comedic talent as the Straight man on a Linguaphone record "
Si vis pacem, para bellum Der Morgige Tag Ist Mein
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